Fifth series, episode 19
All five series are available here on the HebWeb.
In this episode, George Murphy discusses the wealth of the Royals, shares his tale of a garrulous Prince, reflects on The Budget, asks which Christmas song is the most annoying, considers some of the classics he's read and asks which ones he should try next. There's Readers Write and an entertaining short by a Hebden Bridge born documentary maker.
Royal Mint, National Debt
Many people were shocked to discover that the alleged paedophile formerly known as Prince Andrew lived in a huge mansion in the grounds of Windsor Castle. But an investigative report in The Times and a new book by a Royal biographer has exposed the vast wealth of other members of the Royal family.
Norman Baker has written Royal Mint, the Shocking Truth About The Royals' Finances'. While the UK is undergoing tough economic conditions, the Royals sacrificed nothing. The Sovereign Grant went up to £132 million from £86 million last year. Baker examines the work of The Royal Collection Trust, which was established by John Major's government after a public outcry over plans to use tax payers' money for repairs after a big fire at Windsor Castle. The trust raised the cash by charging public visitors. But the Trust carried on generating a vast income for the Royals.
The priceless paintings, jewels and treasures held by the monarch were supposed to belong to the nation. Yet in 1995, a cabinet minister in Major's government stated that selling items was entirely up to the Queen. In 2000, Prince Philip stated that the Queen was perfectly at liberty to sell them all.
Baker's revelations follow those broadcast by Channel 4 last November about the millions of pounds being made by the king and his heir through The Duchy charging the NHS, the army and other public bodies substantial amounts of money. In one example, the King's estate made £829,000 a year renting a warehouse to an NHS Trust for housing ambulances.
A few years ago, it was revealed that the proceeds from the deaths of intestate homeowners in Lancashire belonged to the Crown. The outcry led to the King handing over the proceeds to the Nation. It's annoying that Tony Blair's government gave the monarch the right to gain from the sale of areas of the North Coast when granting licences to drilling and Windpower Companies.
Gardens in winter
Prince Vince
When I told my youngest sister I had started performing monologues, she said, "What's new?"
Prince Vince wor handsome, quite a catch,
And yet he'd never made his match,
For lasses spurned him as their choice, '
Cos he loved t' sound of his own voice.
A passing witch, who thought him cute,
Decided she preferred him mute,
And cast a spell that cost him dear:
To only say one word per year!
Next Feast Day, this dumbstruck feller,
Took a shine to t' Storyteller,
Who told a bold and saucy tale,
And said her name wor, Emma Dale.
And he thought on, at next year's do,
He'd happen say a word or two.
But next year he wor proper smitten,
She had him purring like a kitten,
But, because o't witch's spell,
He'd need three years his love to tell:
Oh, peripatetic performer …
He loved her, but couldn't inform her!
But after those three years had passed,
Our Prince's lips remained shut fast.
His mind had turned to t' marriage state,
Now four more years he'd have to wait.
Four years he'd need at his disposal,
For proposing his proposal!
Till nine years after t' Witch's spell,
T' day came at last his love to tell.
After t' Feast Day cakes and ale,
A shout went up for "Emma Dale!"
Once more her audience wor wowed,
She blew them kisses, scraped and bowed.
Then t' Prince came forrard, full of charm,
And gently took her slender arm,
And led her out to t' balcony,
Where t' Royal Gardens she could see,
Accompanied by t' song o't birds, He uttered his nine precious words.
"My darling, I love you. Will you marry me?"
And slowly turning back from t' garden,
Smiling sweetly, she said … "Pardon?"
Scoffers and coffers
Much of the Chancellor's Budget, was focused on bringing inflation down, with £150 off energy bills and rail fares frozen. The highlight was an end to the two child benefit cap. This was part of Osborne's attempt to blame the banking collapse on the poor, despite most of the people affected were the working poor. One egregious element was the rape inspection, where women were checked to see if they had been raped, so that the rapist could contribute towards the raped woman's benefit. In a few years' time, as triple locked pensioners, we might have to pay a small amount in tax to free children from poverty, which seems a price worth paying.
The bond markets and the head of the CBI gave the budget a thumbs up; but, Tories and the right wing press went into a mock outrage because the fiscal situation was better than they expected! This charge will all fizzle out. The OBR announced in the week before the Budget that our productivity under the last government was less than OBR had estimated.
The Midgehole Don Juan
Marge Simpson once discovered Homer had been replaced by an Android when she noticed he had no belly button, but sighed and moaned and thought it a fair swap when he started scratching her back. A guy I know (handsome Cove, no name, no pack drill) has a wife who loves back scratches and reacts with ecstatic groans. Now this guy (no name, etc.) found this a tedious occupation until one summer evening, after an extended bout of his wife sighing, "Oh, yes! Oh yes, OH YES!" He realised the bedroom window was open. Glancing down he saw a group of women walkers looking up at him with expressions bordering on wonder and awe. He gave them a self-deprecatory little wave and smile, rather in the manner he thought of a latter day Rudolph Valentino. (There's a longer version of this true tale in Murphy's Lore, Pennine Pens (2021).)
Humbuggery
I love The Nutcracker and festive Carols, but dislike most Christmas Number Ones, and most of all the many weeks in which the poisonous earworms of decades of nauseating, brain rotting past hits creep are blared out in cafes, market and shops. Hebden stays cooler for longer as the days get colder and shorter; however, I got caught in a late November downpour and ducked into a café off the square, when I Wish it Could Be Christmas Every Day was relaying its shocking lyric. Is this the worst Christmas song ever? Let me know if you can think of a worse one.
Readers write
Epigenesis
I think of myself as a glass half full type of person; but, my dad suffered from PTSD after the war, and this may have affected me when I was young, right into my early adulthood. I asked my friends, whether they were glass half full or half empty people.
Here's a selection of contrasting opinions.
Glass half full:
Dave Jackson: Brimming over
Leah Murphy: Half full!
Steve Tomlinson: glass half full for me. I've drunk the other half.
Linda Hodges: I think an awful lot of people have been affected by their fathers/grandfathers who suffered from PTSD due to the horrors of war. It's inevitable food, depression, violence and other damaging behaviour. It's also through the changes caused to their DNA.
Christina Longden
I worked with one of the UK's leading brain scientists. He told me, I probably had great epigenetics as a result of my reaction to dealing with a series of very traumatic events. Since then I've always been interested in the issue and more scientists are now talking about it. There's a strong argument to made for this being reflected into mill town mentality in Lancashire too, as a result of the impacts of rapid industrialisation on workers. Recently, I listened to a documentary on the great famine on the ongoing impact in terms of epigenetic trauma responses among the Irish population in terms of alcohol, addiction, etc. The academic doing the research said, it takes 5 generations for the epigenetic imprint to fade.
Bryan Green (on Murphy's Lore 18 where Prof Brian Cox remarked that we inherit our stress form our ancestors) I think Brian should stick to physics. Obviously all our troubles, like anxiety and ancestral inheritance at all levels, physically, socially common psychologically and emotionally. So what? The problem for Brian is that he is highly intelligently conditioned into seeing the world in terms of time/space causality. This perspective is useless when only (by) direct perception of our problems by means of non-judgmental observation can we ever be free of the past and live by enhancing our awareness. Since nobody knows or can ever know what is going on, why are we here, etc., we all just need to help each other through it whatever 'it' is.
Reform and the Russians
Reform's leader in Wales spied for Russia, and the traitor has been given a ten year sentence. Nigel Farage has been a longtime admirer of Vladimir Putin, and in the European Parliament he claimed that Western democracies made Putin feel insecure, and that's why he took over the Crimea.
The National Crime Agency has revealed that Britain is indirectly funding the Russian war machine. The NCA has uncovered two Russian backed networks that process cash for drugs gangs, suppliers of illegal guns and people smugglers. Their money laundering network operates in 28 towns and cities in the UK. So expect to see warnings above motorway urinals warning drugs couriers carrying £100,000 in cash, for £500 rewards, that they can be sentenced to 5 years in prison.
English Classics
I've finally managed to read Pride and Prejudice, my first Austen novel. I love Lizzie and her dad as comic creations, but I ended up skim reading the book (partly because I knew the plot from so many TV series). Somehow the fate of the upper middle class characters didn't engage me, though I recognised Jane Austen genius and admire her attack on the misogyny of Georgian England.
I've loved reading Sons and Lovers and The Rainbow this year. I was especially grabbed by the harrowing sections on teaching unruly working class kids in 50 plus pupil classrooms, recognising them from my slightly less awful schooling and my own time as a teacher.
A friend of mine sent a note that he was put off reading Lawrence by his opinions. That's not the point for me, I dislike some of Virginia Woolf's opinions, but I loved Mrs Dalloway. Charlotte Bronte was a Tory, but Jane Eyre grabbed me. What are your favourite, classic English novels?
And finally …
Here's an hilarious short film by a Hebden Bridge born friend of our son's about a long running night club! … Acapulco, Halifax
Murphy's Lore, the book, is available to order here
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